Beating Back the Demons: Some Tips on Living with Depression

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Depression fucking sucks. No need to moderate our language here: it sucks big old donkey balls. There you are, minding your own business, when BAM, it hits—a wave of lethargy and emptiness draining the color from your world and motivation to get up in the morning, making your world one of ‘going through the motions’.

There are different forms of depression: mild, moderate severe, Bi-polar… but each have something in common: they make life difficult. Some people lose the battle and take their own lives. Others live with it in an uneasy truce. I struggle with depression and so I understand the feeling of never-ending strife. Like there is no end to the war and you will always be either dependent on pharmaceutical aid, drugs, or alcohol. It is not a happy situation to be in.

This guide doesn’t exist with the presumption that it is a superior guide to the plethora of other such guides on self-treating depression out there. However, it does hope to do two things: (1) give a down to earth perspective on treatments and various self-help methods, and (2) provide a platform where others can share their experiences of depression, treatments, medication, and the like. The points contained in this guide are, one the one hand, provisional: they are but my own experiences, while on the other hand, they are open to criticism and input from other persons struggling with depression.

This guide is meant to be interactive—please leave a comment below; feel free to discuss your general feelings, struggle, and experiences about any aspect of living with depression: to how medication makes you feel, to how your cope without medication (if you take medication at all), and what you think triggers a particularly severe episode; feel free to even pontificate on the philosophical ramifications of depression. I figure since this “guide” will be me running my mouth, it is the least I can do in return to you, dear reader, for taking the time to devour the lines.

So without further ado, let’s begin!

 

  1. Some Tips for Living with Depression

Take-up a physical activity.

                As has been said in many guides over the internet, and by many commentators in the mental health complex, physical activity helps release serotonin (the so-called ‘happiness’ hormone): this in turn wards off some depressive thoughts and moods and feelings. To get the full benefits of this release you have to, what in traditional parlance, is known as “working up a sweat”. Only when you have gotten a real physical work-out will your body produce serotonin.

Now for the real question: does this actually work?

Yes and no. Yes for the fact that working out or walking will produce serotonin which will, in turn, take the edge off of a depressive episode; but that is the devil in the details—at best it can only lessen the impact of a depressive episode or temporarily lift you up for a little while. It will not have a real (lasting) impact.

In my experience, when handling a major depressive episode, rigorous activity only blunted the emotional deluge while numbing my body. During such harsh moments the work-out did help but only minimally. Outside of depressive episodes, where I handle the everyday effects of depression, my work-out activity (fast-paced walking), though helping when done on a regular basis, lost its edge if I didn’t consistently perform said activity; additionally, much like an addict, every once in a while I found that I had to increase (sometime dramatically) the amount of walking I did to receive the benefits.

Now, it should be mentioned that I enjoyed walking even before I found out that it released serotonin. So that helped to a degree as well: of course one is going to be happy engaged in an activity one enjoys. I would sometimes walk as many as fifteen miles a day (that certainly helped with the serotonin!)! While I do not do so much walking anymore, not with academic work eating up so much time, one has to consider that though an effective activity, physical activity will only ever be a crutch in a hard time and at best can only serve as a distraction. One shouldn’t expect it to have a significant impact one living with depression; this being said, I would still recommend taking up such a physical activity since it will help at least some, in addition to keeping you in the health zone.

Music and Art and Hobbies

I have found that art and having some kind of diversion helps. With me, it is music and theory. Mostly music, though. I enjoy listening to the track and finding its emotional and psychological resonance; when I do so I feel as though I am connected to something a bit greater (though not in a spiritual or religious sense). The same can be said in terms of theory (both academic and philosophical): when I read and study texts and investigate society and how it might be changed, I extend myself to new horizons and make my voice be known—I contribute to knowledge and the discussion pertaining to that knowledge and so make myself greater than I am alone. These things give me meaning in an otherwise un-meaningful world. They augment my personage and give me a kind of closure which, although not chemical, does help me through those instances which try and strip me of my voice. Capitalist society is superb at alienating us from each other, even as social media connects us more than ever; this, of course, exacerbates depression and causes us to feel isolated when, in reality, there are others… they are just difficult to find. Understanding how you work in relation to the arts, crafts, and intellectual traditions of the world, and then finding your place, should you desire, in those traditions, may be a useful way to find some deeper meaning to an otherwise blank existence.

  1. My Nuance of Living with Depression

Do I take Medication?

Many people living with depression take medication. Some are forced to take it, others do some voluntarily; some find it helpful while others don’t. Whether or not to take medication is a question everyone living with depression has to grapple with at one time or another. So any long-time reader of this blog may be wondering if I, as a Queer Liberationist, take medication.

The answer is no, I do not. The reason can be boiled down to simply the fact that I do not want to become dependent on it; I don’t want my body to barely function should I run out of doses and have a day lost to mental dysfunction. Additionally, being a creative person, I find that while depression is no walk in the park, it does influence my academic and creative outlooks: my disposition allows me access to perspectives normally closed off to the medicated or non-depressed.

I am not saying that because of this depression is a gift, or even a “blessing in disguise”, but that I value the methodology of my mind as it currently exists and wouldn’t want to jeopardize that ability because the negative aspects are intensifying. I prefer to be able and find coping mechanisms which eschew pharmaceutical help. This isn’t because I loathe “Big Pharma’s” business practices (they are much like any other large corporation with a monopoly) or because I hold incorrect conspiratorial views on vaccinations or New Age homeopathy medicine. No. Although I view medication as being highly valuable in many situations to many people, the flip side of this ease is—as I said before—dependency. I simply enjoy creating my own methods of survival instead of finding one in a pill, one which alters my brain chemistry.

Do I Self-Medicate (illegal drugs, alcohol)?

If I am honest I must say that I do, on occasion, self-medicate. When depression has hit hard and I feel paralyzed, as though I can’t or don’t want to do anything, I have been known to either take a few prescription strength painkillers or to down some glasses of high-purity liquor. However, I rush to add that self-medication comes along with the same guide as medication: dependence. Whenever I self-medicate I am careful to ensure that my usage doesn’t evolve into an addiction. Because of this I only self-medicate on occasion, and not every time a depressive spell hits.

Would I recommend self-medication?

Painkillers and alcohol run with increased risks of medical consequences which are otherwise absent from prescription based medication. Alcohol dependency is both an expensive and cancer causing cause of death worldwide. People react differently to alcohol and it has a tendency to overwhelm someone’s life and destroy relationships. Much is the same with painkillers or any mind-altering or numbing substances. Due to these risks I would say that only use self-medicating techniques when recourse to other forms of help are not available. Do not utilize self-medication as a cure all miracle every time you suffer a bout of whatever ails you. If you do drink yourself into a stupor or swallow a few pills every time an episode hits then expect to become an addict in a short while. Only self-medicate as a last resort and sparingly. Be aware of the dangers which come with using drugs and alcohol. The negative effects will sneak up on you, so don’t think you are somehow immune. Be smart about how and when you self-medicate and don’t think you are above the chemical hardwiring such substances have been known to induce.

Views on professional help

Personally, I am conflicted about mental health professionals; not because I feel their career is irrelevant, but rather because of their tight connection to the state and the pharmaceutical industry. Although I did enjoy those times when I was able to discuss my issues with another, qualified individual, such sessions never got very far since I refused to take medication—if you refuse to take medication, then you will find yourself at a dead-end fairly quickly since you are, to the professional, refusing part of your treatment plan. Additionally, with professional help comes the attached legalism: you have a record, essentially, under surveillance via your consumption of medication and usage of mental health professionals. It is easy for assumptions to be made and for your history to be used against you (or it is to me, at least). I would prefer to avoid this baggage. Why pay the funds to receive, at best, if any, treatment, especially when said treatment will give you that background which may, or may not, hinder your future? I would not go as far to say I see all such professional services as pointless; on the contrary, they are capable of helping immensely for many people, but that for me personally, I see such services as more of a trap than anything else. If you find yourself at the end of your rope, then perhaps said services are worth looking into as they could help you greatly… but perhaps not.

  1. Alienation and Connectivity

I am an introvert. Social interaction does not come easy to me. And yet, here the contradiction lies, for humanity is a social animal, and though everyone, bar those with mental disease, has their own toleration when it comes to interaction, everyone does need interaction—to a degree.

This does not mean any interaction but rather very specific interaction, interaction which completes you as a person. Now, ‘completes’ is a strong word. So perhaps it is better to say ‘adds depth.’ The point is, you need more than the cold nothingness of the void. And, as I said, here is the contradiction: capitalist society is an expert at tearing us apart and alienating us through the mode of accumulation; our social interaction becomes devalued, as a means to an end—profit, while everything else is pushed to the wayside. This is doubly so for Queer people, who experience alienation not merely as the alienation of their labor, but their identity as well; add in mental illness, something which is strongly regulated and scapegoated (think of a mass-shooting, now remember the inevitable ‘blame the mentally ill individual the media pundits play), and you have a third layer of alienation.

If you are stuck, if you are caught between a rock and a hard place and don’t know how to get out, think of the following: why? What role does alienation play in keeping you glued to this abyss? More than you think; to overcome alienation is a difficult task because we are alienated everyday through not only our surplus-value being appropriated by the capitalists, but by our class position: when you lack transportation, when you are dependent on others, when you lack funds to ‘move up in the world,’ when you can’t do what you love, when you don’t have access to those individuals who may help you cope… what can you do?

Very little alone. You need others. But, as was just mentioned, how do you find others, especially when you lack so much? The big picture is to participate in a mass-revolutionary movement which seeks to violently overthrow alienation—however, we are focused only on the small picture, and that is to find your muse, that noun—person, place, or thing—but let’s say person, who identifies with you more than merely a friend.

Your muse is not merely a friend, though. It can be a combination of people, support groups, online communities, hobbies and art, and emotional and psychological fulcrums and the like. But primarily, it is people: people who perhaps you don’t consider well enough to be buddies but individuals who don’t run away from you when you begin discussing suicide (as a concept or personal contemplation), people who not only listen to your stories of daily struggle, but maybe share their own as well; muses become an integral part of your life because they are part of the same assemblage you are a part of—struggle under alienation. Muses are other introverts (for me, anyways), people who feel the sting of capitalism more acutely than those individuals who have privilege within the system—muses are not merely friends because friends do not always understand your struggle; muses are ‘friends+1,’ fellow travelers on the road to a better life.

I will give a simple example from my own life.

One day, while in the university cafeteria, a woman sat down across from me; she asked if she could sit with me (something she would repeat every time we eat together). The funny thing was that I did not remember her… yet, she knew my name and asked to sit with me; perhaps we had a course together. IF I thought hard enough I seem to maybe recall that class, but perhaps it is merely false memories. Regardless, she was a kind woman and as we conversed together; as we conversed, and told her of my research with Queer Marxist theory, and she told me of her ambition to be a filmmaker, I got this fuzzy feeling in my head. Thankfully, it was a nice fuzzy feeling.

The feeling is complex because it was built over time: she did not forget me and I did not forget her, despite my bad memory. Unlike with other students, who if they talked to me, it was never more than for a fleeting while and for but a day, this interaction, innocuous in the extreme, and built on truth, was based on difference, I think she was rather conservative, and yet respect; we listened to each other with manners and allowed one another to speak. Our banter was not juvenile diatribes (unlike a lot of what you see on university campuses).

One day, as we were discussing things, specifically, how interpersonal friendships, she told me something fairly personal: I won’t repeat here what that activity was but let’s just say it was something which society at large would view as ‘deviant.’ I replied to her that I didn’t feel it odd at all, because you never know when others will leave you. Upon my saying that, she got this smile on her face; it wasn’t grandiose or sentimental, but peaceful and sincere, it was a smile which said, ‘someone who understands.’ I was honest in my remark since I have plenty of ‘deviant’ habits myself and just because the wider society looks down on certain behaviors, does not mean they are wrong.

I remember this moment and speak of it now in relation to muses, because when I had these brief luncheons with this woman, I felt my despondent mood lifted. Here was another individual who was not like the others: she was courteous, polite, not obtuse, and she had her quirks which others would frown upon if they knew. We had a link.

We were only ever acquaintances. We never hung out. Honestly, I never even learned her name. But I can honestly say that I enjoyed her company far more than any other student. She was a muse for me. Someone who, though not a close associate or someone who I would call if my life was falling to pieces, she was a person who made me feel less alone—we glimpsed at each other’s deviances and found them refreshing.

Muses can take many forms but they all share a single frame, to help you. They help you pierce the alienation, if only momentarily. These people are difficult to find, yes, and more often than not they are only people you stumble onto, but that is the point: you stumble onto them during your everyday routine. They require you to have that minimal level of interaction which is needed, however painful it may be, to help you help yourself (and while doing so, helping another).

 

~

 

Well, this is the end of my guide. As I said at the start, I am not saying this is the ‘end all’ guide or your one-stop shop for dispelling depression, or that these tips and stories will even help, just that these are the things I have experienced as a young man living with depression, and they have brought me both help along with a degree of comfort. So feel free to share your own thoughts and to help me make this guide better or to just add your experiences. Per the norm, I hope this helped you to some degree, made the darkness seem less monster filled, or just gave you a smile for a second. Till next time.

Obsession Reprise: The Dialectic of Desire

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A few years ago I posted an entry on “overcoming obsession: outgrowing infatuation with straight peers” and it received a warm reception. As some of the commentators noted, this piece was written from the heart from first-hand experience. I enjoyed writing it because it was, in many ways, a soothing experience after the maelstrom of unrequited, non-returned interpersonal affection. However, nothing in this world lasts and lately I have found that this peace and tranquility has been shattered by a new obsession.

 
Much in the same manner previously, what shattered this peace was a boy. An asexual boy (a fun divergence from heterosexual), as I would later discover. First meeting as freshmen during our university’s summer bonding event, it was one of those ‘at first sight’ affairs; one of those moments where you can just tell from their looks, how they conduct their selves, and the information you have on them, that if only given the chance, you could make them happy. Speculation aside, I followed my instinct into the rabbit hole, wishing the best.

 
By now, you are likely guessing that the rabbit hole ended in a snake-pit of some kind; you would be correct: relations between the boy and I… ended poorly. I do not wish to bore you with the intimate details, especially since I find them too personal to share online with you kind strangers, but suffice it to say, I discovered parts of myself which I did not previously know existed and these parts caused some havoc on our friendship. I admit I did wrong, I maintain that he did wrong likewise; now we are suspended in a field in which we have mutually rejected one-another, and yet, tension exists between the two of us, tension which I do not know how will play out, tension which as much as I wished it dispelled, also want it resolved… perhaps a futile desire.

 
And yet, I am still stricken by the idea of this boy and confused on how I want this tension resolved. I feel that on some level that it is irresolvable, that I can do nothing, and that he must be the one to initiate contact (since I feel I squandered my ability to maintain healthy communication; for more on this aspect, and how I self-learned to communicate more effectively, see here); yet I feel he will not do that, though he sometimes glares at me should we notice each other on campus. I am confused. But should he send an email, what would I say, assuming it requires a response? How do I want things to end between us? Is anything possible? It seems like a shame to leave things as they are and let disease fester or scars fade until but a shadow of a remainder is left. Some things are funny that way… some things cannot be resolved while others you cannot force. What needs to happen will happen regardless of hope or desire, wish or ability; it is part of the void which is our existence.

 
But, what did I expect? This is a serious question. What did I expect would happen, that we would become partners and ride away into the sunset? That is what I hoped would happen, but it wasn’t what I was expecting; no, I was expecting friendship, and yet, why? That is ephemeral; even had we become close buddies, what could happen with graduation looming? One must remember that university is not like the propaganda videos… those ‘life-long’ friendships the cronies yap on about exist for but a tiny minority. So the question is—how long would we remain in contact post-graduation, should we have been friends throughout our time attending? A year, two… five? Sooner or later we would drift out of communication, as inevitably happens with people you never physically meet. So, in a sense, would this not have been more painful to lose a genuine friend to time, then overcome the generalized Angst resplendent from missteps? It seems likely. Though still, it never feels like so at the time, with the wounds still fresh. I have to learn, however, learn that this is a facet of my life and it is not going to go away. I need to master my own inadequacies and remember that life is rarely as intense as it appears.

 
In a way I feel burned. Though I do not know if it is connected to the ordeal I struggled through in regards to this boy, there was a point last year that I simply lost the desire to find a partner; this desire (mostly) continues to this day. Something in me simply snapped; I would see the various Breeders holding hands and ruminate on romantic entanglements and find myself musing, “Why would I want that? That which interferes with my studies and complicates my future? Why would I want to risk becoming side-tracked on a possibly futile romance?” Was this me being a realist, an attitude born from my failure to secure what I had hoped to be a viable partner? Maybe. Maybe not. I simply do not know. But I do know that I still feel little, if any, desire to find a partner at my current stage of life.

 
Nonetheless, this is a part of life. It is a part of my life. It comes in waves; I resolved the previous wave only to be confronted by a new one in a different form, one which demands different tactics and more nuanced navigation. The best we can do is learn from each wave. Study the past to learn the future; analyze our mistakes so as to not make the same ones again; compose and conduct ourselves in a manner befitting our station as a human while understanding that language will only ever represent us, our desire as well as our personage, to an uncomfortable degree. For people like us, Queer people and youth especially, bouts of obsession act as a fulcrum to our everyday lives—it latches onto the event horizon of a possible future and sees potential held within; what we see in these special people is our life, that other who shares our otherness and assuages the demons within that feed on the struggle to acclimate to a heteronormative world. The sad truth, though, as you know, is that this other only occasionally responds with gusto, and rarely in the manner had we hoped. So the trick is to learn to overcome, to watch our behavior and modulate our feelings, becoming, in a way, affect scientists, in order to meek out a living in a cold, violent world, occasionally blessed by those walking refrains which catch our eye.

Queer Fascism: Why White Nationalists Are Trying to Drop Homophobia

Anti-Fascist News

The National Policy Institute’s conference for 2015 just wrapped up, one of the most popular intellectual events for the white nationalist movement in the United States.  NPI is run by youngish nationalist Richard Spencer, who encourages the movement to be hip and young.  Out of the almost 175 attendees, a huge portion of them were millennials as they were given significant discounts off of the expensive ticket price.  One person that was disinvited, according to associate Scott Terry and even Spencer himself, was the Traditionalist Youth Network’s Matthew Heimbach.  Matt, who helped to found the Townson University White Student Union before forming Trad Youth, has made statements publicly about queer people infecting others with AIDs purposefully and that they need to be put in “re-education” camps to cure their “mental illness.”  Because of these statements, Spencer decided that he should be banned from the NPI conference.

Matthew Heimbach Matthew Heimbach

In…

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Russian Pride Propaganda

As many readers should know, the situation in Russia (and Eastern Europe in general) has been bleak lately for our Gay brethren and sisters. Between attacks by Neo-Nazis and even the homophobia of many so-called “Leftists”, Russian Queers are in a dismal state of occupancy with few allies willing to help in their struggle. After all, when the overwhelming sentiment on the ground is that “gay propaganda” must be “contained”, so as to not affect the children (won’t somebody think of the children?!”– re young boys– any Queer activist knows that something must be done to counteract the hate and reactionaries.

While it is but a small step, a group of anonymous Russian artists has embarked on an interesting mission. Subverting the “gay propaganda” skit used by reactionaries, this collective of artists has repurposed Soviet-era propaganda posters for use in the equality movement. Dubbing their creation “Pride Propaganda”, these re-worked posters take the national-chauvunism held by many contemporary Russian nationalists and inverts the core idea to indicate homosexual love and acceptance.

Below are some examples:

Father, mother, the whole family!
Queer workers lead the way!
Shout it to the sky, you love of labor and yourself!
Pride extends even to the skies!
Every school boy and girl should be able to be proud of who they are in the school-place, without fear of attack from reactionaries.
A vibrant reminder that proud Queers are part of the working class as well, and must assert themselves for their right of inclusion!

Homophobia’s Many Faces

Homophobic, and Queerphobic people in general, are an odd bunch. Many are closeted about their own identities, only belittling to throw others off their own trail, while others still deride for no reason other than petty cultural inclusion (a la high school). Of course there are many other reason why people attack non-heteronormative conforming individuals; sometimes it seems like the variety of bigots are as numerous as colors in the rainbow. And so, though homophobes are easy to spot once they open their mouths, enabling their vocal cords to double-function as both sound emitters and stupidity search lights), it can sometimes be handy to have a list of the kind of homophobes there are so you know what you are getting into once you encounter someone of the “hetero-sapien” persuasion.

~

 

Middle-of-the-roaders

These people are what I like to call “petty homophobes” because they are the so-called “moderate homophobes.” They are not likely to support ultra-conservative efforts to crackdown on gender and sexual edicts, but they tend to express disgust at the prospect of gay marriage or at the sight of two men kissing. Heavily influenced by hetero-patriarchal ideas, yet too timid to express their views risk they become associated with the social anathema which is associated with a community which, for whatever reason, they do not wish to be connected to, they prefer to remain in the shadows of their intolerance content to making an occasional nasty remark or disconcerting vote.

People from both the left and right can be petty homophobes; this includes revolutionary left as well as those of the bourgeois left. Ultra-left remarks against marriage equality, aversion to same-sex moments of affection, preference to remain with other heterosexuals, and a tendency to believe heterosexist myths regarding ay people while voting/voicing sentiment against equality, marks the petty-homophobe.

The proper way to handle these people is with education. They are not the kind of homophobes you expect when you think of someone who is homophobic; they will not attack a gay person. If they use politically incorrect language when referring to a gay person it is when they know no such gay person is around. Many are even sociable when gays and lesbians are present so as to appear fine with everyone; some even believe that they have no problems with gay people. Certainly many would not believe they are homophobic as it is traditionally seen. For these reasons education is the best way to handle these people. When they are showed their misconceptions about homosexuals are wrong and that their intimacy is no different from their own, they will acquiesce in their intolerance.

 

The Gorilla

Our first archetype is the stereotype most often seen: the macho-man. These people feel “threatened” by homosexuals because they, oddly enough, see homosexuality as emasculating (despite the fact that there be no women whatsoever in gay-male-relationships; if any relationship is “emasculating” for men it would be spending every day with a woman, someone, who by the way, couldn’t possible understand this strange concept of “manliness” as they are not men). These people are very self-conscious. They respond to peer pressure and are slavish in their adherence to cultural and societal norms, the routine and procedure which they were raised with and demanded to identify towards.

While most often found on the sports field or armed forces, “The Gorilla” can be found in any social setting. They are not exclusively found in one area over another (provided, they are likely to appear in one area more than another). They are omnipresent creatures who associate the fictitious concept of “manhood” with any practice or hobby. Sports, gaming, intellectualism, even home caring possess Gorilla variants. This is because these people are often sexists- whatever sphere they find themselves in they create aspects which, to them, are better suited to men while others, women. So when that imaginary line is crossed (a construct which existed unbeknownst to everyone else) they react violently and lash out irrationally at the object of their rage who was so bold as to dare and associate penis-oriented activities with vagina-oriented activities.

The best way to handle Gorilla types is to ignore them. They like the attention. Though they express genuine disgust at anything not heterosexual, they are not likely to violently harass or assault people. Refusing to give these bigots the time of day and forging interpersonal alliances with other members of the group to shut down the Gorilla’s reactionary practice of gendering everything with their theoretical poison, should remain the primary goal. After all, the Gorilla is most often a deluded and ignorant person who sometimes simply doesn’t know any better. Education can go a long way with them; and when that fails, a united front destroying their nonsense will accomplish “Operation: effacing the hate.”

 

Non-Platonic Book Lover

The Non-Platonic Book lover takes reading to a whole new level. You or I would read a book and be happy to know that a carpenter stayed true to his beliefs and though as unjustly executed, nonetheless was honored as a caring man who advocated for the poor and fought against the rich; our book lover friend, on the other hand, would read the same story and turn it into a religion. They don’t as much enjoy fiction as masturbate furiously to it while proclaiming every word as immutable law; with all deviants thrown into the lake of un-pleasantness. It can be an awkward situation to be in, especially if you are one of the unfortunate billions who are not living according to their words.

Religious fanaticism, like many phobias, has two angles: a moderate and extreme. Both are homophobic. Yet one is more worrisome then the next. While the former may mutate into the latter with added pressure, and so must be combated with rational argument and progressive alliances, the latter extremist angle is the one which need be directly addressed.

The fanatic is not merely the Westero Baptist Church. It is truly most religious organizations. Any group which is anti-gay marriage, any platform which pushes the supposed reality of a decadent “gay lifestyle,” and any who see non-heterosexuality as “unnatural,” “inferior,” “perverted,” “dangerous,” “mentally ill,” or “a choice” is part of the fanatic angle when merged with any superstition. The “sinful” claim, while backward in its own right, when seen in the wavering moderates, is usually harmless if left alone by Rightist tendencies; the Orthodox nature of most such people means that their commitment to heteronormativity runs only as deep as an alternative is foreseeable.

Luckily, book lovers are relatively easy to avoid as they tend to congregate in both lavishly opulent palaces of marble and political parties decorating the elephantine phallic (with occasional backtracking to the Ass). While they have purposes outside of their gathering halls, the fanatics tend to remain clustered in their circles with the moderates venturing out only to specify a certain watering hole; when the moderates do rear their failing logic it is best to treat them as Gorillas.

 

Cultural Rightists

Some people are conservative because they have fond ideas of liberty and freedom, because they believe it is only through an old-fashioned system of checks and balances were everyone is given an equal opportunity will justice be allowed to triumph over tyranny. Most people (99% of the contemporary political establishment), however, are conservative because they are ignorant; those beliefs regarding freedom have now been mutated into pathetic excuses to defend capitalism. Taken to its logical extreme such conservatism manifests during a period of capitalist decay as Rightism: or, the ultra-irrational defense of cultural and social icons (heterosexism, bourgeois democracy, the Founding Fathers, wage-slavery), traditions (property rights and two parent households), as well as beliefs and superstitions (militarism, American exceptionalism, religion) which serve as ideological cornerstones for the bourgeoisie as they rebuild the image of capitalism itself.

Rightists float in this ethereal delirium whereby everything which they weren’t raised to believe takes shape as “the enemy.” Homosexuals (and Queer people in general), racial and ethnic minorities, alternative modes of social organization, political difference, and just simply the conviction that everyone deserves a meal in their belly and roof over their head become “evils.” Ergo, it is not surprising that these people are the most rapacious homophobes.

Such social extremists propagate the beliefs of homosexuals “recruiting” children, that there exists something called a “gay lifestyle,” and that, among other pitiable absurdities, that gay people, either through individual choice of because of their environmental conditions, choose to be gay; the remedy to their “illness” being to rectify their altercations with masculinity and femininity.

Creatures like they are first and foremost a political problem. Eliminating their corrosive influence on society will require more than trite alliances between groups, it will demand coordinated social action and education. Inter-minority liberation struggles must be fused with revolutionary ideology producing a firm programme by which the masses of workers replace the decadent Rightist agenda with one of their own, an undertaking which amounts to a complete moral-cultural revolution.

 

The Demon

The Demon is the most frightful homophobe on this list because they are the most deadly. Being a sub-set of the Cultural Rightist, Demons are Rightists taken to fascistic indulgences. Their method of activism is violence against minority communities. Harassment, beatings, and even murder are acts which comprise the entirety of their existence. Combating them in non-revolutionary times is difficult: being a law-abiding citizen, you cannot match their violence with an equal level of your own (not outside a revolutionary period. Not unless you anticipate a prison term). So the natural result is to combine the macro-level approach to dealing with Cultural Rightists with a Micro-level approach: defend yourself when attacked and, if possible, travel in groups; this presuppose coordination and organization, as well as armaments, but in order to precipitate the kind of action needed to resolve this social-sexual contradiction, strong measures must be embraced.

~

Well, there you have it. A handy list of the most prominent kinds of homophobes. While the list is not exhaustive as it is only meant to sketch out the most visible impediments to Queer progress, I hope that you enjoyed reading this quick, and mildly amusing, post. If you have a homophobic archetype of your own which you wish to share, please, comment below.

Reactionary Communism?

It is often assumed that communism equates liberation for the whole of humanity from the shackles of oppression; this includes Persons of Color, Women, and, of course, Queer people. Yet is this set in stone? When a communist mode of production is realized and class society has disintegrated does this automatically entail equality for oppressed and minority groups? Just the same, is the inverse true: is a classless society which still oppresses Queer people (and others) “communist” even when classes have dissolved?

 
If communism is defined as simply a classless society than it must be agreed upon that bigotry and communism are compatible. To efface such birthmarks more would need to be added to the definition. Yet, as it stands, this is a peculiar contradiction. Mostly for its “against the grain” attitude as communism is traditionally seen as liberation.

 
Facts do, however, stand in the way. Glaringly, the bourgeois mode of production entails contradiction innate to it as a system which generates and exacerbates Racist and Queerphobic and Sexist attitudes; the need for a reserve army of labor, therefore, is one of the essential components which generate many of the secondary contradictions propelling the reactionary beliefs of capitalist society. Accordingly, it is expected that once the underlying foundation for the bastion of reaction has been stifled (and subsequently replaced with a production mode friendly towards non-bourgeois ideology) that these back-ward understandings will die.

 
Yet, it does not happen overnight. Regardless, that is why there exist a socialist stage: to smash reactionary attitudes and assist in the march towards equality. However, what if the revolutionary forces are not friendly towards the oppressed? What if they are Queerphobic? In such a scenario it is likely that Queer liberation would never take place; that even under communism minority groups would still face persecution.

 
This is the importance of forward thinking- to reach beyond one’s self, associate with those suffering under capitalism, and forge a revolutionary paradigm inclusive of all. It is as Mao said, ‘all of us reach communism, or none of us do.’

An Irrational Polemic; or, Oppose Breeder Liberalism

The reactionary scum calling themselves human beings have been busy fucking up the world for Queers. In Uganda, Russia (and Eastern Europe in general), France, Haiti and many other places Queers live a life of fear; they are blackmailed, raped, beaten, and murdered in cold blood while the so-called “authorities” abet and aid the slimeballs who perpetrate these crimes.

                Police (re: pigs) do this because they understand that only through protecting the state, cloaked as it is in a cloth of heterosexism, that their own narrow minded interests will be continued. The pigs know that so as long as a capitalist (re: bourgeoise) apparatus is protected than their pathetic delusions concerning gender and religion will be enshrined. It is a system which perpetuates itself through the dual pillars of church and capitalism and it is one which must be destroyed.

                While in Uganda Queers are criminalized, in Russia they are legal but subject to humiliation and second-citizenship status. In France the right-wing allied with Neo-Nazi fascists to try and block the passing of the marriage for all bill. In both countries the backward tenants of Christianity hold powerful sway. The proponents of this cult have had their violence sanctified by the state. As a result the Queer minority has fallen to nearly sub-human depths.

                It is time to fight back.

Smash Liberal-Opportunism!

                The pieces of shit which dub their ideology “progressive liberalism” are nothing but capital’s left-wing. They live to serve and shield the capitalist system; as a result they have made themselves enemies of the revolutionary Queer- they must be eliminated, crushed, and outright driven under into submission.

                In the wake of Russia’s infamous Anti-Gay Propaganda bill which prohibits gay rights organizations from displaying any pro-gay materials in front of youth and bans all gay pride parades for a hundred years, in addition to the discrimination faced by Queer youth at the hands of fascist neo-nazis luring teenagers into scenarios where they are publically beaten and humiliated, the progressive liberal response to this situation has been to boycott a supposedly homophobic liquor company.

                This kind of nonsense is not confined to Russia. In the wake of learning of Chick-Fil-A’s homophobia the American scene was transformed by a campaign to boycott the popular restaurant; later on a counter-campaign to support the bigots was launched. What does this mean? Primarily that regardless of location the progressive liberal is focused more on reorganizing capital than advancing the Queer working class.

                While fighting tooth and nail for publicity in these commodity campaigns doesn’t hurt the movement towards equality it neither does nothing substantial for it while ultimately leading it along a bourgeois line. Consequently this type of thinking must be combatted for not only its misleading goal of disarming a movement of revolutionary potential but for its rejection of practical methods.

Enter: Violence

                Another facet of liberal ideology is the emphasis on non-violence. They claim that great goals can be accomplished with peaceful modes of struggle. Citing examples such as Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr, they go on and on about the glorious victories stemming from a rejection of bloodshed. There is of course but a single problem: their entire argument is a load of horseshit.

                Let’s be honest: Gandhi didn’t do jack-squat while Mr.King’s movement ended in abject failure challenging only the appearance of racism and not its actual superstructure. Both examples ride on the successes of true revolutionaries who up took arms to fight for what they knew was right. Even in Queer history this is true: to gains rights and something more than “look at that goddamn fag” status, Queer in New York didn’t partition the government but rather rioted and fought the pigs with rocks, fists, and makeshift weapons during the Stonewall Rebellion.

                It is time that the degrading lies of nonviolence be rejected. Since the reactionary elements do not hesitate to use violence why shouldn’t our Queer brothers and sisters in Uganda and Russia? It is important to remember that armed Queers don’t get bashed. Since we also know that non-violence only ever results in fluffy words it is time that Queers in these Queerphobic hellholes take matters into their own hands and start shooting, bombing, and razing to the ground any and all institutions and people who get in their way; after all, a bullet shot is a bullet earned. Real progress is measured in blood, not in the amount of picket signs.

“The Only Church That Illuminates is a Burning One”

                Fuck religion, fuck the pedophile priests, and fuck the counterrevolutionary garbage which pervert the name of Jesus Christ, Abraham, and Mohammed. Such people are not worth the air they breathe. If all of them were to be shot en mass I would consider it their own fault.

                A common tactic of the hopelessly deluded is to dub Queer people pedophiles. This is known in all of the countries listed plus a great deal of others who have erected police forces which refuse to help Queer people after they have been wronged on the grounds that gay men and lesbian woman are pedophiles and hence are subject to arrest. While this goes on the church, in its filthy depravity, covers up the abuse which young boys and girls suffer at the hands of their sickening “priests”.

                The real pedophiles are the pulpit pounders not Queer people!

                Religion only exists to serve capitalism and undermine class consciousness. It is used by the ruling class as an instrument to dull the fury of class warfare by redirecting hatred to invisible sources: “it was God’s judgment that that worker died; he became too greedy for more money by demanding a rise when instead he should have been content with the pay he had.” Had the Church been a legitimately progressive influence on society (I.E. fighting for social justice) it would have been expunged at the start of capitalism.

                Through the Religionist nutjobs Queerphobia is best spread. With the Bible’s numerous instances of Queerphobia the hate of Breeders is tied to it foot and hand.

Oppose Breeder Politics: Eradicate Heterosexism!

                Heterosexism is defined as believing that heterosexuals are superior to homosexuals and other Queer minorities. Yeah, and ice will stay cool in an oven. Give me a fucking break. In terms of reactionary levels these people, these Breeders, are the worst of the worse.

                I will give to them that heterosexuals have been superior in fucking up the world but beyond that I am not willing to compromise on much: in-between reproducing on such a scale that tens-of-thousands of people die a day, to creating the nuclear family and all of the dysfunction which travels in monogamous relationships, the Breeders have done a superb job at becoming superior in terms of proving who is the bigger monster: heteros or homos (Psst… the answer is heteros).

                The unsavory truth is that neither gay nor straight are superior to one another: both are equal (shocking!). Heterosexism is no different from racism, nationalism, or religion. It is an absurd fantasy promoted by the backward as a means to promulgate their rancid lifestyle. Nothing more. As conscious revolutionary Queers the task at hand is to unite all aspects of the working class to battle reaction yet before this can be achieved heterosexism must be firmly dealt with.

Towards A Queer Future

                How does one go about in forging a future which is Queer friendly? Good question. Unfortunately I do not have the answers to that. I can say that it starts with abolishing religion, rejecting capitalism as a viable system, embracing violence, and battling liberalism while upholding a revolutionary communist line. Beyond that though… I haven’t the slightest idea (*wink* *wink*).

Freedom for CeCeMcdonald

It has been a long road for CeCe Mcdonald. After unjustly being imprisoned for an act of self-defense in which two of her attackers died, she is finally being released from the prisons of capitalist America. The announcement came from the website of the “correctional facility” in which CeCe was being held; the date foe her expected release is January 13th, a date which she is undoubtedly highly anticipating. 

CeCe, who has been described as the youth which she lived with as a caring, thoughtful person, is a Trans-woman of color. One night upon patronage of a local convenient store, however, she was set upon by several Skinhead Neo-Nazis. A brawl ensured by which CeCe fought back and managed to kill several of the fascist scumbags while severely wounding another. For this act though she was unjustly condemned by the heterosexist courts and incarcerated.

Now, however, thanks to the unending activism and advocacy of progressive and revolutionary activists both in and without the Queer community the pigs have bowed to public pressure. Many months of stringent battles led to the impending date. Truly this is an accomplishment which would be impossible without the dedication of many justice loving people all across the United States and beyond. All of those who raised awareness for CeCe’s cause and those who kept watch deserve a warm handshake in thanks. As legendary communist guerrilla fighter Che Guevara once said, “if you tremble indignation then you are a comrade of mine.”

Concerning “Breeders”

It is not often said but within the Queer community there is a homosexist term called “Breeder”. Mostly used as a pejorative, Breeder, is an insult against heterosexuals. However, this insult lacks coherency.

By coherency I mean the stability within even the Queer community: Bisexuals. Regarding individuals who possess attraction to both genders and sexes what are we to make of the Queer who incidentally mates with the opposite sex and produces offspring?

By linear logic this person would be a Breeder. Hence the term cannot be used as indicative of the whole Queer community against the heteronormative forces. Rather, the term is specifically homonormative in function.

Primarily gay men use the term (as well as Lesbian couple who refuse artificial insemination as a means towards having children). Hence it refers to a “us versus them” mentality; “The breeders are the ones who create worldly destruction, not us non-breeders who merely help in population control”. Fin.

Whether this view is progressive or reactionary, however, is not the point. It is utilized as a dirty word, something used in private spit by downcast homosexuals.

Some heterosexuals naturally take offense. They find it derogatory for their entire essence to be narrowed down to simply their sexual habits. In the end this is precisely the point of the term: to guide heterosexuals towards an understanding of how gay and Lesbian woman men feel when society at large labels them and dubs their identity as nothing more than who they have intimate relations with.

In other words it is a counter-term. Much like how in the United States the term “Kracker” or “Whity” is known to denote White people, the fact of the matter is both of these terms will never have the same connotation as “Nigger”. Much the same, “breeder” will never have the same whollop as “Faggot”. Each word was created to serve as an empowering phrase which oppressed communities could use when the proverbial push came to shove.

Never one to dwell on the nuances of language long I seldom use “Breeder” to refer to heterosexuals. When I am upset and talking purely with other homosexuals I will sometimes use it. Yet most of the time I stick to realistic language which reflects the present. I target the superstructure (bigotry, mental illness, etc) which serves to manifest the organs of reaction.

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